Jack (10) is sitting at the kitchen table doing his Maths homework with as much enthusiasm as he can muster … Dusk is falling and he is racing through his work so that he can play outside before the light fades. Sharon (52) is monitoring proceedings while trying to make supper (using this cookbook!). She glances over his shoulder to see if he is calculating correctly, and she is alarmed to note that the shapes of his numbers are taking on an exciting life of their own. Her well-developed OCD tendencies spring into action:
Sharon (52): Boy! What is that number? It’s supposed to be a 5 but it looks anything but …
Jack (10): Oh Momsy, anyone can see that it’s a 5!
Sharon (52): No they can’t, boy. Sit up straight, stop resting your head in your hand, rub out that number and do it again. And hold your pencil properly! If I was your teacher and you were writing a test and your numbers look like that, I would simply mark them wrong.
(An important aside: Sharon thinks this line of argument is going to serve her well as very recently Jack lost one mark in a spelling test because his cursive “S” did not look like a cursive “S” but the beak of a bird and the teacher could not be persuaded otherwise …)
Without looking up or changing his position, Jack (10) shoots back: Momsy, Ma’am would never do something like that to me … she is not a savage!
After shrieking with laughter in a rather savage way, Sharon (52) decides it’s time to work on her ability to be more civilized so as Jack scampers away she ambles into the courtyard to pick a lemon. #SavagesDoNotDrinkGinAndTonic
ABOUT THIS SERIES: I started #ConversationsWithMySon in 2015 as Facebook posts to document the funny and clever things Jack says. Most of these conversations take place in the car, on the way to school when Jack is sharp and Sharon is bleary-eyed. Needless to say he has garnered a social media following of note.