It is Jack’s exam week and a frazzled Sharon (52) has dispatched Jack (10) to the garden after a rocky (and let it be said not terribly productive) bout of revision. It is time to Take. A. Break. Suffering from sense of humour failure, she retreats to the calm of her bedroom, lies down and stares at the filmy white curtains for a good while to try to restore a smidgen of her sanity. Breathing deeply, she counts to 10 and picks up a book when her peace and quiet is interrupted. Jack (10) is at the door, and pretty soon he is also on the bed, and draping himself over her.
Sharon (52): What are you doing here, boy? I thought you wanted to take a break?
Jack (10) grins and replies: I do, Momsy, but I just want to see what you’re doing …
Sharon (52): Mmmm, well I can’t believe you’re missing me already! You’d better go and play because pretty soon I am going to call you so we can get back to your books …
Jack (10): Oh, Momsel, these exams are not good for my mental hygiene!!
Sharon (52) starts laughing and pretty soon she can’t stop. Jack (10) starts to realise the joke is on him and asks her what is so funny.
Snorting hysterically, she says: I think you meant to say ‘mental health’, boy, not ‘mental hygiene’! Hygiene has to do with cleanliness whereas mental health is how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking …’ Then she shrieks with more laughter.
Jack (10) admonishes her cheerfully and rearranges himself at her side: Stop laughing at me Momsy, you’re wicked!
Indeed, Sharon (52) muses to herself as she contemplates the long combative hours ahead between now and bedtime, and the boring Geography and Personal and Social Wellbeing (PSW) that needs to be revised. And there is no rest for the wicked.
ABOUT THIS SERIES: I started #ConversationsWithMySon in 2015 as Facebook posts to document the funny and clever things Jack says. Most of these conversations take place in the car, on the way to school when Jack (10) is sharp and Sharon (52) is bleary-eyed. Needless to say he has garnered a social media following of note. Here is one of them and another …